Creative Share

For the past six months there have been so many things I've wanted to share. Little things like how I'd become obsessed with watching the Real Housewives of New York and then New Jersey. (man, those ladies sucked me in!) Or really incredible things like what it felt like the first time Ellis hugged me or said mama. Or how I look at her every. single. day and think how freaking amazing she is and oh my god how did I get so lucky to have a daughter as gorgeous & perfect as Ellis? Seriously. Have you seen her? And she loves to garden! What more could I ask for?

I hope that this post marks the end of my unintended blogging hiatus. That being said, one of the things I have looked forward to every day is reading Donna Downey's blog. She's actually one of the very first blogs I found and I wish I could remember what I Googled to make her name pop up, but there she was, and I think I read her entire archives in one, long sitting.

Donna is insanely creative and has allowed her art to evolve naturally over the years. I love her no-fear approach to art, how she can take ordinary bits & pieces and turn them into something beautiful, and how she inspires women to find their artist within.

The latest in her Campaign for Creativity is Inspiration Wednesdays where she encourages you to take a chance with your art. The whole notion of Inspiration Wednesdays goes much deeper than that, but in its simplist form, it's just finding time to be creative because sometimes, its good for the soul. I'm expanding that to include writing one blog post per week, even if it's just to post a photo because I've got LOTS of those.

Lately I've satisfied my creative urges with greeting cards: creativity born from necessity! Most recently have been Father's Day and in my family, that's no easy task. Husband, check. Dad, check. Step-dad, check. Father-in-law, check. I do feel badly that I didn't have them made in time to send a hand-made card to my father-in-law, but his birthday's in August, so I have a second chance where that's concerned.

Anyhoo....here are this year's Father's Day cards. I generally use one or two or ten eyelets on any given project, but this time I tried to branch out & use some of the other embellishements I'm so fond of hoarding and not using. Like, what, I can't buy more hinges?

(font is ddscript)

I felt the inside needed a little something extra, but all in all, I was really pleased with how it turned out.

With this card I had a very vague idea of what I wanted, which was lots of rough edges, and striped paper resembling a men's shirt. And that was about it. After layering the striped paper with the green scrap and attaching the "happy father's day" printed on vellum, it wasn't quite enough. Enter the rustic wire! Now, this is where I pat myself on the back for actually using my supplies instead of the aforementioned hoarding. Adding a rough boarder of wire and attaching with the Tiny Attacher was exactly what it needed.

Next up was my mom's birthday, and I made this little gem on my lunch break today. The day of her birthday. See, I knew last week that her birthday was on Tuesday, but that was last week, and by the time Tuesday rolled around, well, let just say it's a good thing I noticed the birthday card on her counter this morning. I know, I'm a terrible, terrible daughter. And as you can see, I'm now a HUGE fan of the rustic wire. (and the tiny attacher) I was originally going to fashion a heart, but it started to resemble more of a balloon so I went with it. What did Bob Ross say? Happy accidents? The red & white paper is actually wrapping paper that I scooped up from Fred Meyer a while back, and the eyelets? Did I mention that I can't make anything without eyelets? (font is ali edwards)

It feels good to create again, and it feels good to write again. Thanks, Donna, for offerring up this outlet and giving me the push I needed!

snow baby!

We've gotten a little snow in the past few days! I think somewhere in the pallpark of 40 inches. I had been in Anchorage for a seminar on tax changes, where it was painfully cold (sorry I didn't call, Sherrie!), so I missed all the actual snowfall. I know, bummer, right?

Our street has essentially turned into a one-lane road, and the snow is so high in our yard, Porter can walk across the fence. Can, and has.

Adam's on the phone with his sister, and apparently she shares the same joy in seeing a dumptruck full of snow as I do. Why am I so amused by the sight of a dumptruck full of snow? Who knows. But I always get a kick out of it.

We bundled Ellis up & took her out for her first real taste of snow. She'd been in snow before, but only from the car to the house, and vice versa. I think we may have had more fun with it than she did, although we'll just blame it on the fact that she didn't have much mobility in her snow pants & coat. Think Randy in the Christmas Story.

I'm sure she'll thank us for these photos someday :)

in case you were wondering

That baby finally did come out. Ellis Olivia was born May 3 at 3:03 A.M, after about 60 hours of labor. That's first contractions to me asking Is she still a girl? And if I do say so myself, she's awfully damn cute. Really, have you seen a cuter baby? (I started this post so long ago, Ellis is now 2 months older than in these photos.)

I think I was in denial when I first began having contractions Wednesday afternoon (was 40 weeks of waiting finally here?? and THIS is what contractions feel like??), and by Friday morning, I was ready to throttle my doctor if she dared tell me I was not in labor.

After hooking me up to the monitor, I was thrilled to hear my contractions were 3 minutes apart. Woo hoo!!

I called Adam, who was at Temsco training (his part-time, 8th season, glacier-guide summer job) and said it was time to go to the hospital. Ummm, after I finish packing my hospital bag.....

My doctor appt was around 11 am, and I think we were settled into our hospital room around 2:00 or 3:00 pm.

When the on-call doctor first examined me, I was already 4 cm dilated, and I felt like a first-time-birth-super-star. Of course, I had been in labor for 2 days, so it would stand to reason I would be dilated. I made it to 5 cm within the hour, and that's where the dilation stopped. No amount of walking the hospital corridors or trying a different position would help.

By about 8:30 pm, I decided some IV drugs were in order. And when they say IV drugs just take the edge off, not completely take away the pain, they weren't lying. It was also about this time that the doctor made the call to administer pitocin to kick the contractions into gear.

Another couple hours of that (maybe I had also entered into the "transition" phase?), and I was begging for an epidural, trying to count in my head how many more contractions I would have to endure before the anesthesiologist arrived on site, and (realizing later) completely misjudging the number because I was high on pain meds.

Anyhoo, it was too late for an epidural so I got my wish about a (almost) natural childbirth. I had a hard time looking Adam in the face because I didn't want him to know how much pain I was in. Ha! Ha ha! Who did I think I was kidding? Adam said the wailing sounds coming from my mouth resembled someone trying to climb up the swim ladder on a boat, while being eaten by a shark.

Pushing seemed to take for-ever. Hours, I think. And lots of me saying I can't do this! I think the doctor was a little disappointed in my progress, or lack thereof. He may have a medical degree, but has he ever pushed a human being out of his vagina? What? No vagina? That's what I thought.

And then finally, FINALLY, I pushed her little head out, and I felt her body slither out, and the pain was gone just like that. And then we had a baby! She was perfect & beautiful, and I was so happy she was out. She wrapped her hand around my finger within the first hours of her life & just like that, the connection was made.

Our body's ability to forget the mind-blowing pain that is childbirth is an amazing thing, no? I mean, I was lying in my hospital bed the day Ellis was born, and said to Adam Well, that wasn't so bad; I could totally do that again. His response? How 'bout we wait until we've left the hospital before we discuss another baby, shall we?

For the chance at another Ellis, I'd do it all again in a heartbeat.

Romeo

Romeo is a wolf who lives around Mendenhall Lake, where we normally walk Porter. Now, before Honey reads this & says "we" walk Porter, I need to qualify my statement & say that since my X-Tra Tuff boots stopped my fitting my sausage-like feet months ago & I refused to buy a new pair, I haven't been on a dog walk in quite some time. My brother Bucky & his dog Kona took over as Honey & Porter's dog walking partners, and this week, they finally met Romeo. Romeo, who for the most part just wants to play with dogs, is still a wild animal with wild animal instincts. and has killed at least one small dog.

Kona, Romeo & Porter:

Hard to believe how naturally they're playing with a wolf. Romeo really just wants to play. When Adam & Bucky made the decision it was time to leash the dogs again, Romeo whimpered & whined, and followed them along the beach for quite some time.

And PS, I'm beginning to think this baby is never coming out. Yeah, yeah, I officially have 9 days until my due date, but I'm ready & I firmly believe, so is she. I've been having mild contractions for days, and last night they came every 7 minutes from the time I went to bed until this morning when they only came inconsistently. I'm uncomfortable, the pressure on my pelvis is...I don' t even know what to say about how that feels, my back is sore, as are my hips, I lost my mucous plug yesterday & have been leaking ever since, and I don't want to spend another night of waking up writing down damn contractions every 7 minutes.

the cute...and the not so cute

These are the fabrics I used for the nursery curtains. The red ticking I bought for crazy-cheap at WalMart, and the floral (Moda Summer In The City Strawberry Poppies) I bought last summer & only had one yard of. The striped fabric Jerusalem found in the sale pile at Joanne's, and if I had seen it, I don't think I would have looked twice. On it's own, the wide stripes & pinks were a bit of a departure from what I would normally choose, and it had a circus-tent quality that I was unsure of. But Jerusalem convinced me we could make it work.

Back at my house, she looked through my piles of fabric & chose the ticking & poppies as accents. After washing & drying the striped fabric, I loved the natural fray that resulted. Now, I'm not a great seamstress & can barely cut or sew a straight line, but I did have the good sense to sew a seam along the bottom to prevent it from fraying further the next time I wash them. Jerusalem also suggested using the back of the ticking rather than the front to give it a more vintage look. That is one clever gal.

Here is the finished product, and I couldn't be more pleased with how they turned out. I love the three patterns together, and I love them up against the Plume Bleu paint. I also love the impact floor-length curtains make in a room. In my head, I imagined all sorts of colors going with this paint color, and I hoped I was right. Turns out, I was.

Love the chandelier? I do. I saw it in Pottery Barn, and my mom bought it for her granddaughter. Aren't I lucky? I absolutely fell in love with the pink gingham shades. I wanted touches of pink in the room, but I didn't want it to look like a pink explosion, and I think I'm achieving that nicely.

The baby-girl's room isn't finished, but it's coming along. Especially since a very short time ago, it looked like this:

Today I had my weekly baby appointment. At previous appointments, despite my insanely-swollen feet & ankles, my blood pressure has been fine so my doctor wasn't concerned with preeclampsia. Last week, I was having headaches and spots in my vision, so they ran some blood work, which turned out fine. This week, my blood pressure was elevated and my urine was registering protein, so the doctor is still thinking preeclampsia is a possibility, and to be completely honest, I'm not even sure what that is.

At any rate, I go back on Friday to have my blood pressure tested again. I really hope they don't mention the words "bed rest" because I am not wasting my leave on bed rest. I'd prefer they'd induce labor, which I'm not thrilled about either. I'd rather my body go into labor when it was ready to, but if given the choice of bed rest or being induced, induce me.

Now: the not so cute:

Isn't this just about the ugliest foot you've ever seen?? You'd think I'd be embarrassed by it, but the truth is, I am oddly compelled to show off my swollenness. Honey said it's a good thing he doesn't have a foot fetish otherwise he wouldn't be able to sleep in the same room as me. Not that he enjoys sleeping in the same room with me as it is with my trucker-like snoring.

This evening we were sitting on our front deck, enjoying the simple act of sitting outdoors in short sleeves & no jacket. Our neighbor Nathan stopped by, and while Adam was on the phone with his brother Rob in California who had just finished watching Expedition Alaska on the Discovery Channel, featuring the Mendenhall Glacier where Adam guides in the summer (hi Rob!), Nathan & I were discussing the births of his 2 kids. After commenting on how "puffy" my feet looked, Nathan asked if he could touch it. I think he may have a foot fetish.

changes

It's hard to believe we went from thisto this. In 2 days. In all fairness, the real temp was nowhere near 80 degrees, but it was 58 degrees, and do you see me complaining?
Doodles sure isn't. He will always find the sunny spot in the house. My little heat seaker.

getting close

It's hard to believe how fast time flies....

Little Hunter is almost 5 months old & as cute as ever. Me? I've packed on 64 pounds & am left with very few shirts that actually cover my belly.

And at about 36 weeks, I'm just a little uncomfortable. My feet & ankles are painfully swollen. The other night Honey's boney ankle bumped up against my fat ankle & oh, my, did it hurt! Yes, yes, I know I'm in for it when it comes time for labor.

Rolling over in bed is an ordeal in itself, and actually getting out of bed? The achy hips, the legs so sore & stiff from the swelling, the ankles that hardly bend anymore...all things that make me wish I could just stay in bed. Except that unless I'm cuddling with Honey, even bed isn't comfortable anymore.

The baby thinks it's great fun to head-butt my bladder on a regular basis, and this past week, she has also been putting pressure in my, ummm, posterior-region. I know all you ladies know exactly what I'm talking about, but man, does it feel strange!

It's difficult to breath, and I find myself emitting a snort when a laugh should be coming out of my mouth. And if I can't control my breathing when I'm awake, imagine how I must sound when I'm asleep. Poor Honey doesn't have to imagine. I think he said something to the affect of ~ Honey, you sound like a trucker. But unlike me who kicks him when he's snoring, he has learned to just let me sleep. Because I told him he wasn't allowed to wake me up to tell me I'm snoring. But, still, he lets me sleep.

My body refuses to keep up with me anymore, which I don't like one bit. Doesn't it know I have things to do? That this baby will be here in 3 weeks & I'm not ready for her? I have a nursery to finish, thank-you's to write, a hospital bag to pack, and a life to say goodbye to. And I don't mean that last bit in a negative way, just that I have not yet come to grips with the fact that our life is changing in the hugest way imaginable.

Like the other day, my brother was over with Hunter, who for no apparent reason, started crying. Not just whimpering, but that stiff-bodied, eyes-shut-tight CRYING. For no reason. And when I asked Bucky what was wrong with his child, he said, ummmm, yeah, this is what babies do. Get used to it. And then he plucked his child from my arms and immediately calmed him down. Can I just say that I am so proud of the man & father my little brother has turned into?

But despite my complaining and feeling ready to get this little fatty out of my belly (as of my ultrasound on March 5th, the technician estimated the baby at nearly 5 pounds. 5 pounds at 29 weeks, people!), I am going to miss being pregnant so much. I won't miss those months where I went crazy, of course, but I will most definitely miss being pregnant. It's the most amazing thing I am capable of doing & I hope I never take it for granted. For so long, I felt like being pregnant was something that happened to other women, not to me. It was all so surreal. After the first ultrasound when we saw the baby & were told it was a girl, it still didn't feel right to refer to her as a she or a her instead of an it.

Even as my belly grew & it became quite obvious that I was pregnant, both from the outside & from the inside, it still didn't feel real. And now, with a closet full of tiny pink clothes, it doesn't entirely seem real. Except that right now I can feel her feet jutting out from my belly and her butt making my belly lop-sided, and I know she is real. How can I not miss something that has been a part of me for 10 months? A little something that I was solely responsible for growing into a little person? A little person Honey & I made because we wanted to share our love & life with a child. A little person we will try our best to keep the worst parts of ourselves from seeping into.

I wouldn't trade the past 36 weeks for anything. Even when I was in that very dark place, I was still incredibly grateful for being pregnant. Grateful that it happened as easily as it did, and grateful that after various blood tests, the worst result was that I'm RH-,which actually makes me feel special to have a rare blood type. I am grateful to have a husband who loves me enough to have a baby with me, and who always tells me good job on making a baby when I forward him my weekly updates from babycenter.com. I'm grateful for my family who I know will never let me fall too hard. I'm grateful for my friends who have all been so supportive and made me feel so special during my baby shower.

Even though I'm going to miss her presence in my body, I can't wait to meet her & hold her & tell her how much we love her.