the cute...and the not so cute

These are the fabrics I used for the nursery curtains. The red ticking I bought for crazy-cheap at WalMart, and the floral (Moda Summer In The City Strawberry Poppies) I bought last summer & only had one yard of. The striped fabric Jerusalem found in the sale pile at Joanne's, and if I had seen it, I don't think I would have looked twice. On it's own, the wide stripes & pinks were a bit of a departure from what I would normally choose, and it had a circus-tent quality that I was unsure of. But Jerusalem convinced me we could make it work.

Back at my house, she looked through my piles of fabric & chose the ticking & poppies as accents. After washing & drying the striped fabric, I loved the natural fray that resulted. Now, I'm not a great seamstress & can barely cut or sew a straight line, but I did have the good sense to sew a seam along the bottom to prevent it from fraying further the next time I wash them. Jerusalem also suggested using the back of the ticking rather than the front to give it a more vintage look. That is one clever gal.

Here is the finished product, and I couldn't be more pleased with how they turned out. I love the three patterns together, and I love them up against the Plume Bleu paint. I also love the impact floor-length curtains make in a room. In my head, I imagined all sorts of colors going with this paint color, and I hoped I was right. Turns out, I was.

Love the chandelier? I do. I saw it in Pottery Barn, and my mom bought it for her granddaughter. Aren't I lucky? I absolutely fell in love with the pink gingham shades. I wanted touches of pink in the room, but I didn't want it to look like a pink explosion, and I think I'm achieving that nicely.

The baby-girl's room isn't finished, but it's coming along. Especially since a very short time ago, it looked like this:

Today I had my weekly baby appointment. At previous appointments, despite my insanely-swollen feet & ankles, my blood pressure has been fine so my doctor wasn't concerned with preeclampsia. Last week, I was having headaches and spots in my vision, so they ran some blood work, which turned out fine. This week, my blood pressure was elevated and my urine was registering protein, so the doctor is still thinking preeclampsia is a possibility, and to be completely honest, I'm not even sure what that is.

At any rate, I go back on Friday to have my blood pressure tested again. I really hope they don't mention the words "bed rest" because I am not wasting my leave on bed rest. I'd prefer they'd induce labor, which I'm not thrilled about either. I'd rather my body go into labor when it was ready to, but if given the choice of bed rest or being induced, induce me.

Now: the not so cute:

Isn't this just about the ugliest foot you've ever seen?? You'd think I'd be embarrassed by it, but the truth is, I am oddly compelled to show off my swollenness. Honey said it's a good thing he doesn't have a foot fetish otherwise he wouldn't be able to sleep in the same room as me. Not that he enjoys sleeping in the same room with me as it is with my trucker-like snoring.

This evening we were sitting on our front deck, enjoying the simple act of sitting outdoors in short sleeves & no jacket. Our neighbor Nathan stopped by, and while Adam was on the phone with his brother Rob in California who had just finished watching Expedition Alaska on the Discovery Channel, featuring the Mendenhall Glacier where Adam guides in the summer (hi Rob!), Nathan & I were discussing the births of his 2 kids. After commenting on how "puffy" my feet looked, Nathan asked if he could touch it. I think he may have a foot fetish.

changes

It's hard to believe we went from thisto this. In 2 days. In all fairness, the real temp was nowhere near 80 degrees, but it was 58 degrees, and do you see me complaining?
Doodles sure isn't. He will always find the sunny spot in the house. My little heat seaker.

getting close

It's hard to believe how fast time flies....

Little Hunter is almost 5 months old & as cute as ever. Me? I've packed on 64 pounds & am left with very few shirts that actually cover my belly.

And at about 36 weeks, I'm just a little uncomfortable. My feet & ankles are painfully swollen. The other night Honey's boney ankle bumped up against my fat ankle & oh, my, did it hurt! Yes, yes, I know I'm in for it when it comes time for labor.

Rolling over in bed is an ordeal in itself, and actually getting out of bed? The achy hips, the legs so sore & stiff from the swelling, the ankles that hardly bend anymore...all things that make me wish I could just stay in bed. Except that unless I'm cuddling with Honey, even bed isn't comfortable anymore.

The baby thinks it's great fun to head-butt my bladder on a regular basis, and this past week, she has also been putting pressure in my, ummm, posterior-region. I know all you ladies know exactly what I'm talking about, but man, does it feel strange!

It's difficult to breath, and I find myself emitting a snort when a laugh should be coming out of my mouth. And if I can't control my breathing when I'm awake, imagine how I must sound when I'm asleep. Poor Honey doesn't have to imagine. I think he said something to the affect of ~ Honey, you sound like a trucker. But unlike me who kicks him when he's snoring, he has learned to just let me sleep. Because I told him he wasn't allowed to wake me up to tell me I'm snoring. But, still, he lets me sleep.

My body refuses to keep up with me anymore, which I don't like one bit. Doesn't it know I have things to do? That this baby will be here in 3 weeks & I'm not ready for her? I have a nursery to finish, thank-you's to write, a hospital bag to pack, and a life to say goodbye to. And I don't mean that last bit in a negative way, just that I have not yet come to grips with the fact that our life is changing in the hugest way imaginable.

Like the other day, my brother was over with Hunter, who for no apparent reason, started crying. Not just whimpering, but that stiff-bodied, eyes-shut-tight CRYING. For no reason. And when I asked Bucky what was wrong with his child, he said, ummmm, yeah, this is what babies do. Get used to it. And then he plucked his child from my arms and immediately calmed him down. Can I just say that I am so proud of the man & father my little brother has turned into?

But despite my complaining and feeling ready to get this little fatty out of my belly (as of my ultrasound on March 5th, the technician estimated the baby at nearly 5 pounds. 5 pounds at 29 weeks, people!), I am going to miss being pregnant so much. I won't miss those months where I went crazy, of course, but I will most definitely miss being pregnant. It's the most amazing thing I am capable of doing & I hope I never take it for granted. For so long, I felt like being pregnant was something that happened to other women, not to me. It was all so surreal. After the first ultrasound when we saw the baby & were told it was a girl, it still didn't feel right to refer to her as a she or a her instead of an it.

Even as my belly grew & it became quite obvious that I was pregnant, both from the outside & from the inside, it still didn't feel real. And now, with a closet full of tiny pink clothes, it doesn't entirely seem real. Except that right now I can feel her feet jutting out from my belly and her butt making my belly lop-sided, and I know she is real. How can I not miss something that has been a part of me for 10 months? A little something that I was solely responsible for growing into a little person? A little person Honey & I made because we wanted to share our love & life with a child. A little person we will try our best to keep the worst parts of ourselves from seeping into.

I wouldn't trade the past 36 weeks for anything. Even when I was in that very dark place, I was still incredibly grateful for being pregnant. Grateful that it happened as easily as it did, and grateful that after various blood tests, the worst result was that I'm RH-,which actually makes me feel special to have a rare blood type. I am grateful to have a husband who loves me enough to have a baby with me, and who always tells me good job on making a baby when I forward him my weekly updates from babycenter.com. I'm grateful for my family who I know will never let me fall too hard. I'm grateful for my friends who have all been so supportive and made me feel so special during my baby shower.

Even though I'm going to miss her presence in my body, I can't wait to meet her & hold her & tell her how much we love her.

clearly, mother nature hates us

either that or she's just on strike. and to add insult to injury, there was an avalanche early this morning that took out the hydro-electric towers leaving the town to rely on diesel generators for power. the electric company is estimating that our bills will be increased by 500% for the next few months while they repair the towers, and they aren't even going to start repairs for at least a month. it sucked enough to pay $180 a month for electricity and we don't even use our electric heat (which reminds me, I need to pay our oil bill), but to have that increased by 500%?? I could say, at least it's coming up on summer when our electricity bill drops, but it's not going to matter much this year. the only good thing about today? costco now carries Izze. yippee! I totally blame dooce for my Izze addiction, and although the 12-pack at costco doesn't contain my favorite flavor, pink grapefruit, I'm still giddy. almost enough to make up for spending $200 at costco.

EDITED: we woke up to 8 inches of snow this morning. excuse my language, but this is CRAP!