Monday, April 30, 2007

blue monday

so i'm being a totally bad hostess because i'm writing this post when i should be entertaining my brother & his fiance, who are here for dinner. i'll be quick!

first up ~ what i see outside right now ~ BLUE SKY! after a week of rain, this is a spring miracle!

next up are my acorn slippers ~ love acorns. these were a christmas gift from my dad & step-mom jill. i live in my slippers from the moment i get home to the moment i crawl into bed. they're warm & fuzzy, have a rubber soul, and most importantly, are washable!

this is hanging outside our bedroom door. it was a weddng gift, and i love seeing it every day.

the item which made my bathroom complete! my coveted sign, purchased for me by my mom. sadly, my camera does nothing for my wall color.

my blue birds. these were a trinket from my bridal shower hosted by mother-in-law mary in spokane.

my new blue binders from russell & hazel. i'm tring to get more'd think i'd already be pretty organized as i am incredibly anal about where stuff goes (where it belongs where else?) but i just need a really good system. and it should look cute, too. plus, i just haven't found where everything should live since we bought our house last august.

see you tomorrow!

Thursday, April 26, 2007

how do you know?

How do you know when it's time to leave your current job? I love being an accountant as much as I love to decorate & craft, so it's not that I'm looking for a career change. Not that I wouldn't love to make a living being creative someday. Ahhh, someday...

And I love my co-workers, even though some days I am convinced they go out of their way to make my life more difficult.

I work in the private sector, which means I work for a man who wants to make money for himself ~ duh! I know that's the whole point of being a business owner, and he's been doing it for like, 31 years, so he is clearly doing something right. He says he wants his key staff to make really good money, and I do, so that's not really the problem either. Not that I don't totally deserve to make more.

The main problem is communication. I am constantly left out the loop on significant changes that often affect my job, thereby making my job that much more difficult. And then I am asked if I completed a task related to said-change ~ WHEN I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT IT!

My boss's communication style is also a major problem. He sucks at it. Many of my co-workers are better at not letting it affect them, but I am not one of those people. When he raises his voice at me, talks down to me, starts waving his hands around, and explains to me the purpose of a profit & loss statement like I don't know (or the difference between a latte & a mocha, my personal favorite put-down), I can't deal.

I went to college. I am not an idiot. I'm not perfect, and I make mistakes from time to time, but there's a chance that if he didn't change how he wants me to do things every 2 months, I'd probably be more efficient & better able to keep on top of my work. I've been tempted on more than one occasion to ask him ~ why do you even have me here? Do you even know what I do? I did ask him once. Big fight ensued. Doors slammed. It wasn't pretty. Why do I put up with this shit??

This morning I received an IM from a co-worker who yesterday witnessed how awful our boss can be for the first time. He said he was up all night fretting over how his mistake had caused me such duress as I was the one taking the brunt of his mistake. I assured him not to worry about it because this is what I deal with virtually every day. He was shocked to say the least, which made me spontaneously cry. To be validated for what I have to go through just to get a damn paycheck was just...I don't even know how to describe it exactly. Adam knows what I go through, as do my friends & family, but they don't see it & experience it first hand. My co-workers of course know what it's like, and we all vent to one another. But there was something different about this person seeing that side of our boss that confirmed just how shitty my work situation can be. That when our boss says with his voice raised & hands gesturing wildly ~ I don't know why you're getting so upset about this! ~ I'm not crazy for being upset & that I have every right to. That I don't deserve to be treated with such disrepect.

The upside to my job? I like what I do, I like the people I work with, I get to bring Porter to work with me, there's the comfort zone of knowing how to do my job (and believe me, there's A LOT to keep track of), and the freedom of being able to rearrange my work day easily if I have an appt, etc. Plus, for someone like me who is chronically 10 minutes late for everything, not having to be at work by a specific time alleviates some of my morning stress.

Our benefits are okay. We have a 401(k) plan, my medical premiums are 100% paid for, but our plan sucks ass. I pay my & Adam's dental premiums, which is really affordable & the coverage is comparable to other insurance plans I've had. I don't have medical for Adam because we'd have to pay the premiums & can't afford the $350/month. I get 2 weeks of leave per year, but according to our employee handbook, the most I can accumulate is 60 hours. So I couldn't even take 2 whole weeks off! And so much for paid maternity leave if I ever get knocked up. (Although, I do have the max vacation hours in Quickbooks set to 80 because I'm defiant that way. Oh, yes, I am a rebel.) And I get paid holidays. All 4 of them ~ Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's & July 4th. There are some days I miss working for a financial institution where we had a holiday every month except for one; I think August. Three-day weekends are the best. God, I need some time off work. And a really great haircut. And some highlights. And a tan. I did get a gorgeous new Dooney & Burke "authentic-counterfeit" bag courtesy of my Aunt Georgia while visiting my cousin Tony & his wife Lisa in NYC, who apparently had to go down a long scary hallway to procure for me ~ thanks Aunt Georgia!

Okay, so that's where I'm at with work. I'm so tired of waking up with anxiety over the thought of going to work, but I know that no job is perfect & I might end up in a entirely worse situation. So how do you know??

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Yesterday morning while driving into work, I remembered that I had angsty dreams about driving. I mentioned this to honey, saying I remember trying to honk the horn at a bad driver but the horn didn't work. He said ~ yeah, you did have really angsty dreams; you kept trying to push me away when I went to cuddle you. I wondered if I was trying to honk him....

Tuesday I got one dozen red roses from Honey. Rotary Roses ~ do your Rotary Clubs sell roses there, too or is it just a Juneau thing? I also wonder if high school kids go to Costco to eat Costco-dogs for lunch, or if that is also just a Juneau thing. At $1.50 for a hot dog & soda, you can't beat it for cheapest lunch in town. I'm not too proud to say I ate many a Costco dog for dinner when I was broke in college. At any rate, my roses are lovely ~ see! They were delivered to my office by the Rotarian Adam purchased them from, his boss Chuck. A very nice fellow whom Adam loves working for. And Chuck doesn't read this, so I'm not just sucking up on Honey's behalf!

It has been absolutely gorgeous out here, with honest to goodness WARM days. I can't even tell you how much I begin to crave the sunshine after a long winter, and this winter has been especially long. It snowed just last week, for crying out loud! The snow is almost melted from our front & back yard, and the poo is almost all cleaned up as well. I'm not a bad dog owner, but we had so much damn snow this year that unless I stood next to Porter with a poo-recepticle under his ass while he did his business, it just wasn't getting picked up until spring. And trust me when I tell you, I am so not the only one on poo-patrol this week.

Yesterday evening while I was filling up about the 15th grocery-bag of poo (I am sooo sorry Arrow Refuse!!), we had half the neighborhood kids in our yard playing with Porter. It sounded something like this: PORTER! PORTER! PORTER! PORTER! PORTER! Come here Porter! PORTER! Come here Porter! Porter come here! PORTER! PORTER! PORTER! You think I'm joking, but I'm not. One of our favorite neighbor kids, age 9 but we don't know his name yet, also stopped by for a vist. At our first meeting this winter while out walking Porter, he asked us if we had any kids. We said ~ nope, just 2 cats & a dog. He said ~ so your pets are like your kids, huh? Adam & I thought this kid was much brighter than most kids in our 'hood. Yesterday, he asked me if I "was a gardening freak like his mom". I started laughing and said, Well, yes, I guess I am! And very well put! That kid cracks me up.

I was outside until about 8:30 working in the yard; raking up the dead grass, clearing the debris from the flower beds, pulling up the beginnings of weeds, & dreaming of what I want to do with the yard. When we purchased our house last August, it was too late to do any gardening. I had grand plans of pouring over landscaping books & magazines this past winter to design my perfect cottage garden. Because in my mind, everything must be perfect the first time around. Nevermind the fact that we don't have the funds to make my perfect cottage garden. But did I plan my garden over the winter? Noooo! Following through with goals is something I've always struggled with. I get totally ADD and move onto another project before finishing what I've started. Or, more often, get completely overwhelmed with all the things I want & need to do, and shut-down instead.

I haven't even finished painting everything I wanted to paint, and now it's time for outside activities & the last place I want to be is inside painting. So that's my goal for the next couple of weeks ~ paint, paint, paint & get those projects finished so I can start gardening without the anxiety of the things that are unfinished indoors. And yes, I'm totally aware that home projects will be neverending, but I at least want to finish what I've started ~ and finally post some before & after photos!!

I've been writing this post off & on since yesterday morning. Now that the weather is nice, I hope I still find time to post all the little ramblings that I simply must share with you all. Adam & I spend as much time as possible outdoors, especially during the summer months. We love love love the beach & being near the water (someday I will have a house near the ocean....). love camping ~ anything to take advantage of our short summers. This year, I have a feeling we'll be spending more time at home, since we have a home! After apartment living for most of my 20's and my (very) early 30's, it's amazing to have my own home to play with. The first time it hit me that this was OUR house was when I walked through the back yard and realized this was my oil tank, my yard, my spindly little trees.

I read a blog recently of a woman who had taken a sabattical from blogging because she felt as though she was living to post to her blog rather than actually living her life. How true. It's so easy to get sucked into reading about other peoples' lives ~ total strangers, even ~ and trying to keep up with your own posts. This woman said she started turning every meal, every project into a photo shoot. I mentioned this revelation to my mom who also recently started her own blog, and these were her thoughts on the subject: "we can't do that otherwise our day is nothing but artificial and for looks. So we need to just keep it real and unpretentious I suppose." While I don't want to get sucked into blog-land and leave reality altogether, one of the reasons I started blogging in the first place was to write about all the little mundane things that happen in my life and post pictures of things I love or that make me laugh so I don't forget them. And of course to share my life with my friends & family who I am so terrible at keeping in touch with.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

not a lazy sunday

Today Adam & I went snowboarding & skiing respectively. Porter was sooo excited to see all the gear come out. Little did he know he would be spending the day at home torturing the cats. Looking back at our photos of the day, I'm not so sure I wouldn't rather have been in our cozy living room watching HGTV instead of attempting to get myself down a mountain in near-blinding wind & snow. Spring skiing, not always spring-like as evidenced here:

I'm not what you'd call an "expert" (you should see me getting on a chairlift), so skiing in these conditions ~ not really my thing. Adam is a great snowboarder. He says he sucks, but one thing to know about Adam is that he's one of those people that are good at absolutely everything they try. And he looks hot doing it. Me, I have no coordination & even less balance. So I go slow & make lots of turns, and poor Honey has to do a lot of waiting for me. By the end of our first run, my coat was soaked, as was my hat & scarf. Adam said I had little icicles coming off my goggles. Nice.

Today being the last day Eaglecrest is open for the season, they do this crazy thing called the Slush Cup. As Adam & I rode up to the top of the mountain, we watched as fools skied down, hoping to gain enough momentum to make it all the way across A POND. That's right, a pond ~ I'm guessing about 100 feet long. Some actually did make it across, but sadly, most did not. My toes went numb just watching them go in.

For the price of the lift ticket, we should have stayed up there for the whole day, but it was just too damn cold & the fun was wearing off. Best to end on a good note, don't you think? Believe it or not, though, I did have fun. Except for the time I fell & my left shoulder couldn't keep up with the rest of my body. Now, hours later & my body feels like it were tossed around like a rag doll. Can somebody bring me my bed & some Aleve?

Friday, April 13, 2007

new kid on the block

My mother has decided to join the world of blogging! Check her out here.

My mom has written me notes virtually every day of my life ~ there were notes in my lunch bag when I was a kid, notes when I got home from school or work, and now as an adult, I still get e-mails from mom almost every day. Even though I am a bad daughter & don't always write back.

She is a beautiful writer, full of sage advice & always able to put my traumas into perspective. She has amazing gardens, makes parenting seem like a breeze, keeps a cozy home, & would do anything for her family. I can't wait to watch her blog & see what she has to share with the world.

Happy Friday!

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

another first

This morning I had my first car accident and it was totally my fault. I was both distracted & impatient, which I'm sure is somewhere on the list of driving don'ts. The girl's Jeep, her brand-new Jeep, lost its rear bumper, and my Jetta's front-right side is munched, the hood slightly dented, and is scratched from end to end. (To be honest, I didn't even look at her car to see what damage had been done) Oh, and I had Adam yank the flailing mirror off. You know, so it wouldn't scratch the car while it flopped around as we drove. And did I mention this happened during rush-hour traffic, on the highway, in front of the high school?

After it happened, Adam immediately asked if I was okay. I, immediately started to cry & hyperventilate. The girl, who had pink, pointy-toed shoes, was only slightly distraught, and thankfully was not hurt. We exchanged information, she headed off to school, & Adam & I headed off to work. Me, still crying & nearly unable to breath. The sound of the plastic fender-well, which was now dislodged, was rubbing against the tire & really not helping the situation.
Once the initial shock wore off & I regained most of my composure, a new set of worries sank in. It was the passenger-side that was hit, so Adam could have been really hurt, or Porter could have tumbled around, or I could have hurt that girl with the pointy-toed shoes. All because I was distracted & impatient. I just wanted to scream at myself ~ HOW COULD YOU BE SUCH AN IDIOT? I was ill knowing that Adam was watching the whole thing unfold & all the HONEY! HONEY! HONEY!s wouldn't stop me from hitting that Jeep. I was ill knowing that I came dangerously close to injuring my husband, and I was ill knowing how close I came to rendering my car undrivable. And then I was really, really grateful that none of those things happened.
I keep seeing flashes of her black Jeep, as it stood basically still and my car slid along it. Flashes of black Jeep, flashes of black Jeep! And I will have a reminder of my stupidity every day, for the next two months ~ how long I have to wait to get into the auto body shop. My crinkled car announcing to the world that I am a bad driver. Oh, the shame of it all.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

at a loss for words

A new employee just came into my office to fill out his new hire paperwork. He actually asked me ~ So, should I like, fill all these out?

Only if you want to get paid, darling.

Sunday, April 8, 2007

cause for celebration

This was last weekend:

This was yesterday:

Yes, our backyard still has 3 feet of snow, and the sun was probably shining directly on the thermometer when I took this shot, but that was a beautiful sight.
Also this weekend, my mom, Michelle (my brother's fiance) & I decorated about a thousand Easter cookies. Michelle's were all cute & fancy, mom said I should "just stick to the carrots ~ they're easier". I know she just joking, and really she is the sweetest mom on earth, but geesh!

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

why we have pets

Since it's actually been SUNNY out (hooray!), we've been driving with the sunroof open, which Porter loves. It's really hard to drive when you're laughing that hard.

I don't care what you say. That shit's funny.

Happy Wednesday!