Thursday, March 29, 2007

on being sick

Honey is sick and I won't deny that I am the most insensitive, unsympathetic wife when this occurs. Due to poor timing (like I can time these things), I generally don't have the luxury of staying home when I'm sick, nor do sit still very well anyway. Probably why the last time I got sick, it lasted for about a month.
When Honey gets sick, he feels the need to remind me every five minutes that he doesn't feel good and then proceeds to tell me exactly what, where & how everything hurts. Just in case I forgot from the last time he told me. I am not proud to say that I cut him off from whining last time he was ill. I actually told him he was not allowed to complain to me any more. When I get sick, I pray to whatever gods may be listening to please, please, please do not let Honey get sick, too. Not because I am concerned for his health (he is young, he can take it) but because I can't take the whining. I am a awful wife.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

meet porter

Is he not the cutest thing you've ever seen? This picture was taken about 5 months ago, after the first of several times he got paint on himself. Let me just say, you are very very lucky that I didn't start this blog when Honey & I first got Porter. If that were the case, you would have been inundated with nothing but stories of Porter. You will still likely get more than you ever bargained for ~ and pictures, lots & lots of pictures.

For those of you who don't know, owning a dog is nothing like owning cats, of which I am very familiar. I've had dogs most of my life ~ family dogs~ but never my very own dog, and never a puppy. Kittens come potty trained. Puppies do not. Kittens sleep through the night. Puppies do not. And while they are busy not sleeping, they are crying as though their little life is coming to end. Even Porter's supreme cuteness wasn't enough from keep me from losing my shit on more than one occasion. It was about 3 weeks of total & utter frustration, co-mingled with puppy snuggling. I was sick of getting up in the middle of the night, I was sick of standing outside saying "for the love of God, would you just pee already!!", I was sick of everyone getting to enjoy Porter but didn't have to work for it, and worse of all, I was keenly aware that I was not at all in control of the situation.
And I am not joking when I say I seriously reconsidered ever having children. Ever. I even broke the news to my mother. Sorry, but Porter's all you get. She was not pleased, but played along like a trooper.
Then, miraculously, things got better. He started to learn stuff. We taught him to sit, and everytime he actually sat, I was utterly amazed. Having been a cat person all my life, I was so not used to teaching animals tricks or even how to behave properly. Honey taught him to fetch in a matter of minutes, which had me convinced we had the smartest dog in the world. Porter, aka Doodles, can sit, shake with both paws, lay down, & fetch. He quickly stopped pissing in the house after he figured out that if he made noise at the front door, we would be all too happy to let him out. Again reaffirming that we had the smartest dog in the world.
And then, after seeing how cool it was to have a little thing love you just because, and watching him learn & grow, I decided that I might like to have a baby after all.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

avalanches & sleep talkers

We had an avalanche today, although I believe it was man-made. In an attempt to control mother nature, the city will blast at the mountainside in the hopes of creating an avalanche. Today, success.

I wish I could take credit for these photos; they passed through town all afternoon, I got them from a co-worker, and here they land once again.

To my knowledge, no one was injured, and they had the snow cleared from the road by 6:30 this evening. There's only a handful of residents that live in that area (3 of whom are my bosses & their child), so at least everyone got to go home today.

I'm still not entirely smoke-free. I had made it through my first 24 hours without smoking, and the next day was absolutely craving one by the time I got home from work. That seems to be my current Everest. I made it past the needing to have just those 3 a day, to now needing just that one a day.

It's so hard to feel good about my progress but not be disappointed in my lack of progress at the same time. And, you can now add a Costco size tub of licorice to the things I've eaten during my quest to quit smoking. And some more chocolate because I realized I chose the week before my period to quit smoking (how brilliant am I?) & I totally crave chocolate during my period. CANNOT get enough chocolate. And I'm still eating tons of lollies, as we've come to call them around my house.

The best seem to be Jolly Ranchers lollies; a little intimidating to bite down on so they last a while, and the stick is plastic so I can chew on it for a while once my lolly is done. Tootsie Pops come in number 2, however, they're just too hard to not bite down on! Dum-Dums are a distant third, simply because they are small & come with weird flavors. Chocolate? Root Beer? Butterscotch? Pina Colata? Give me the red-flavors, people!

That Target commercial is on ~ A little bit more, a little bit more. Love that song. I think it's by a guy named Jaime Lidell, or something like that; saw it on someone else's blog I came across randomly.

Allrighty, I think it's time for bed. Honey (I am also Honey, which I'm sure annoys the hell out of our friends) fell asleep before me for the first time in I don't know how long. I think I will let him sleep on the couch because he's impossible to wake. When I do, he'll usually start talking in his sleep, so I try to keep him going if I can. I have to amuse myself somehow, don't I? He works in a copy/graphic design shop, and my favorite was when he started talking in his sleep about the "Riley job" he had to finish ~ Riley being our cat. I know, probably not funny to anyone else in the world but me, but I gotta say, I did laugh out loud & isn't that what really matters?

Maybe I should try to wake him after all.....

Monday, March 19, 2007

monday blahs

The only thing keeping me going today is the amount of work I need to do. Work that I can actually complete instead of the on-going projects that I never quite seem to finish.

Quitting smoking is going better than expected, although my husband might disagree. Why is it we are nastiest to those we love the most? Is it because we know they are supposed to love us unconditionally & they couldn't possibly leave us just because we are being unbearable?? At any rate, I have cheated a teensy, but for the most part, am smoke-free. Yippee!! I have finished off an entire Costco size bag (COSTCO SIZE, PEOPLE!!) of Robin's Eggs, except I think I may have actually eaten those prior to my quitting, about 8 bags lo lolly pops, and more chocolate than I care to admit. Chocolate & caramel.....mmmmmm....I had to squeeze into my jeans this morning. I just love that I can feel my belly rolling over on top if itself.

Note to self: must start an exercise program of some sort ~ besides walking our dog Porter, which is admittedly more than most people are doing. I have been wanting to try yoga for ages, but because I am afraid of my inflexability, I haven't made the commitment to it. Perhaps if I tried yoga, I wouldn't be so damn inflexible, hmmmm?? I do love reading the Yoga Journal & I practice breathing techniques from time to time, though. My husband is anti-eastern-medicine, yoga, & all that it implies, so I also need to get past his feelings on the subject & just do it if I want to so badly. Every day is an opportunity to try something new, get over a fear, to let go of something that has been holding me back. Here's to moving forward!!


Wednesday, March 14, 2007

fingers crossed

May today be the day I go 24 hours without smoking. I had round 2 of acupuncture yesterday, and my cravings seem to have subsided dramatically. I dare say this is the longest I've made it yet. I'm inclined to go again today to really seal the deal, however at $75 a pop, it's tough. My sweet mother brought me a gift at work yesterday. Actually, two gifts ~ a french-inspired sign from Room Service Home that I've been coveting, and some money to help pay for my acupuncture. So that certainly helps. And it's nice to have a mom who knows how important those gestures are.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

I'm a quitter

I am trying to quit smoking. It sucks. I have smoked since I was 19, and I can still remember thinking I'd be able to quit anytime I wanted. Isn't that funny?!

Friday afternoon I got acupuncture from a very nice lady named Miranda. I wasn't scared of the needles (I have tattooes), and I was actually really optimistic about the whole experience. She placed needles in my ears (slightly uncomfortable at first), my hands & my feet, neither of which hurt a bit. She left me to relax for 45 minutes, and relax I did. I was still asleep when she returned, and I was still half-asleep as she plucked the needles out.

Saturday was the longest day of my life. I was up by 7:30 am, and when I looked at the clock later on, thinking surely it must be at least one in the afternoon, I was horrified to see that it was barely 10:30 am. I try to keep myself as occupied as possible, but still, nagging in the back of my brain, is ~ cigarette, cigarette, cigarette...

I can't say as I'm smoke-free yet. I thought cold-turkey was the way to go, but I'm weak. Very, very weak. I've had, lets say, "a few" cigarettes since Friday afternoon, but compared to smoking about a pack a day, I'd say I'm doing pretty well. Not great, because I really hoped I'd be able to JUST QUIT. Maybe tomorrow I'll have 2 instead of 3, and the next day maybe I'll only have 1 instead of 2.

I have a follow-up with Miranda on Tuesday, so maybe that will give me the little extra boost I need to see this through. I so want to be a quitter. Just this once.

Thursday, March 1, 2007

blizzard on the way!

We've got blizzard warnings in effect today. One might think, you live in Alaska ~ big deal. Our winters are actually fairly temperate, though, and much milder than the mid-west or even the east coast. But today we're expected to get about 24 inches of snow in the next day, coupled with 50 mph winds. I thought that was preferrable to the -8 bitter cold weather we've been having, but now that the wind has begun to pick up, I'm not so sure. Luckily, our very sweet "other half", the fellow that lives in the other half of our attached house, has a snow blower and will usually do our half of the driveway along with his while we're away at work.

My office overlooks the Federal Building parking lot, and on days like this, it usually empties out earlier than normal. The State offices do the same, so instead of everyone driving home at 4:30, everyone is driving home at 3:30. I hate to see an empty parking lot while I'm still stuck at work. (Holidays are the worst) I'm hoping that if state & federal offices do close down early, my boss will see fit to do the same. Here's hoping!