8 random things about me

My mom tagged me to write 8 random things about me so here goes!

1. I like to put chips in my sandwiches. Not sure when it first seemed like a good idea, but it's something I never really outgrew. The weirdest thing I used to eat as a kid? Boloney & sugar. How gross is that?!

2. I must have the shower curtain closed, as well as all drawers & the hall closet doors. I know this isn't really so odd, except that when you have a husband who is constantly leaving drawers open, it's an ongoing battle. What bugs me the most is the shower curtain, though. If I don't close it right away, I can feel that open space just staring at me.

3. Except for driving through Canada on two seperate road trips to the lower 48, I've never left the country. No Mexico for spring break, no romantic trips to Europe with Honey. Someday.....
Oh wait! I just remembered! We went to Nassau in the Bahamas for our honeymoon! I didn't need a passport ~ does that technically count?

4. I love, love, love Audrey Hepburn. I can still remember the first time I watched Breakfast at Tiffanys, and how much in awe I was of her beauty & grace. I think that she was a kind person in real life solidifed how much I adored her. I think I've seen most everything she's been in, but Breakfast will always remain my favorite. Honey bought me "How to be Lovely" last year for Christmas; we could all learn a thing or two from Miss Hepburn.

5. I am very competetive, but hate sports. Bucky teases me about how pissed off I get when he plays dirty at Uno. I know, I know, you're supposed to play all those nasty Reverse & Draw 4 cards, but I can't help taking it personally!

6. I am both a planner & a procrastinator. How is that possible, you ask? I make lists. Lots & lots of lists, and I plan ahead for things that I know have deadlines. And yet, I'm still always waiting until the last minute to finish them. Even in college, I was forever writing my papers up the last possible moment. There's just always so much to do and never enough time, you know?

7. I'm not quite as picky about how things go into the grocery cart (although I do start at the back & work forward for obvious reasons) but I HAVE to place my items on the conveyor belt according to type. Fruit & vegetables, frozen, cold-case, canned or boxed, meats, personal hygiene, miscellaneous. My reason for this is that the baggers generally don't know how to bag my groceries properly. They'll toss canned green beans right on top of my caged-free eggs! Or ground beef on top of apples! So, I try to help them out & make it fool-proof. It helps my anxiety by not feeling the need to correct them. It's really a good system! Even better? Honey has now adopted my system and will also group our groceries on the conveyer belt. I am a proud wife.

8. I hope that our baby gets Adam's sense of balance & coordination. Physically, he's good at everything, and I am, arguably, the most uncoordinated person on the planet. I've never been comfortable in my own body, and I will never be one of those willowy women who saunter down the sidewalk while men look on. Actually, you can generally see me staring at the sidewalk so as to not trip on a crack or step in dog-poo. Classy, huh?

So that's it. Eight things you didn't know about me.

Adam & I are heading north to Anchorage this weekend for my office's holiday party. The company pays for airfare & one night at the hotel, so we just have to pay for the second night & we get ourselves a mini vacation! I've not been to Anchorage in years, and Adam's never been. I believe our hotel is right downtown, so we'll be able to walk to restaurants & shopping. Or maybe we'll be taking taxis: I checked the weather forecast this morning and the high temp is forecasted to be around 26 degrees with lows in the teens. Brrrrr.

Hope everyone had a lovely Thanksgiving :)

sometimes, I'm just that stupid

A few months back, my bathtub drain was clogged. The problem was quickly resolved with a bottle of Drano. Within that same week, we gave Porter a bath, which is an entirely different, and much more amusing story, and my bathtub drain became clogged once again. Ever since, I have been calf-deep in bath water everytime I take a shower. Forget about taking a long, leisurely shower on the weekends, because my bathtub would have overflowed. I have spent close to $50 on various drain-unclogging products, all to no avail.

This weekend, Honey went into the crawl-space to take apart the pipes and remove the source of the problem. I just hoped he wasn't going to show me whatever he found. He came back from under the house only to announce that the plastic pvc piping was glued tight. Having to hire a plumber simply to unclog a drain was so not on my list of things to do. My anxiety level was already running high because I had finally gotten the last of the body work done on my car from my accident last spring and my car was still making noises it ought not be making. These are things that Tracy-on-Zoloft could handle. Tracy without Zoloft, not so much. I don't do well with things like this ~ multiple things happening at once, things that are out of my control although easily solved with a simple phonecall to a professional. They just seem so out of my reach, you know? I'd rather curl up in my chair and not attempt to find a solution.

Honey, on the other hand, in a uncharacteristic moment (he usually gives up, too), took the one wire hangar I had; one from the dry cleaners with the felt covering it to protect our fine garments, and shoved it down the bathtub drain to loosen the massive hair glob. Except that he couldn't. The hanger would only go so far before it stopped against something metallic. It was at this point that he called me into the bathroom.

Honey, have you tried putting the drain stopper down?

Of course, I'm thinking, no, I did not try putting the drain stopper down. I was so stunned at my stupidity, however, I literally couldn't say anything. I could have been stubborn, I could have been indignant & said I never put the drain stopper up, because I hadn't. Instead, I just stood there & grinned like an idiot. And was thankful as hell we hadn't gone through the humiliation of calling a plumber.

More importantly, I love that Honey can still surprise me. Yes, it was a simple fix, but like I said, he normally would have given up, too. It's like now that I'm unable to deal with certain things, he has realized that we have to have at least one person our household that can cope, and for that I'm very appreciative.

Oh, let's see....what's been going on.....

Friday night Honey & I attended a banquet & auction for S.A.I.L., a non-profit providing assistance for people with disabilities. I used to work for them & still volunteer for occasionally at their fundraising events. Anyway, I had a couple dresses that were a little too big that I thought I would have no trouble fitting into. HA! Shocking that I was surprised that an extra 15 pounds makes that big of a difference, isn't it? Ummm, yeah....

So I squeezed into the lesser of the tighter two dresses, and with my favorite black sweater from Anthropologie, it didn't look too bad. Plus, have I mentioned (this week) that I have cleavage now?

We arrived at the banquet, were shown to our table, sat & visited with some friends for a minute, and since we arrived 30 minutes late, we got there just in time for dinner being served. Being pregnant & starving, I waited only an obligatory minute or so before we made our way to the fast-forming buffet line. And here's where I experienced another pregnancy-first: when I stood up, my tights rolled down my belly like a little old lady with knee-high stockings rolled down at the top, you know?

I'm sure there will be many more pregnancy-firsts, but this one took me by surprise.

And here's your token cute-pet photo. Adam fell asleep on the couch Sunday night with the cats. That would be Riley-cat on Adam's belly, and the fat, black blob on the cushion is Mendy. Porter couldn't leave them be & had to come for some kitty-lovin'. He was actually being quite gentle with Riley. He so wants to play with the cats but hasn't figured out that he's too big & obnoxious for that to happen. They just look at him like, DUDE, what are you thinking?? We're small!!

I've been crafting a bit, but not nearly as much as I'd like. There's never enough time in the day, is there? This notebook was a custom order for my mom, and I just love the retro holiday paper. I wish I had bought more than 4 sheets of it. I think this is one of my favorite creations; there's nothing about it that I don't like. Usually I can pick apart my designs & find a flaw or two, but not with this one! I love that I finally used the tiny holly leaf buttons that I've had for a few years now. I'm trying really hard to be good & not buy loads of crafting supplies until I start using up what I have, but with so many cute things out there, it's not always easy! Please tell me I'm not alone in rationalizing not-necessary craft purchases.

Lastly, I've got a question for all the mamas out there. Next week, Honey & I have our next OB appointment. It's the one where they'd do the genetic testing, if we were inclined to do so. My feelings are to pass on the testing, that I have enough to worry about as it is without worrying about false-positives. I'd much prefer to go on believing my baby is perfectly healthy. Honey wants to do the testing because he used to work with disabled youths, and if our baby has anything wrong (I hate to even use that word) with it, he wants to know so we can be prepared. My mom has a cousin who has an autistic son, and that's the closest relative I have with any form of disabilities, mental or physically. Our doctor said that's far enough away from me that we don't really have anything to worry about. She said they also test for spina bifida, but I've been taking prenatal vitamins with folic acid since before I got pregnant, and I know that's supposed to be a big factor in preventing that.

So, I'm curious what your thoughts are. Did you have the testing done? Did any of you have false positives? Did you & your spouses disagree on whether or not to do the testing? Adam said if I don't want to have it done, we won't have it done, but I'm still considering it for his sake. I just really don't want to spend the next 6 months worrying about something else, you know?

what's grosser than gross? this story. do not read if you're squeamish.

Saturday afternoon Adam took Porter on a walk before we went to dinner at my brother & Michelle's house. (This is not a cute story, so today he's "Porter", not "Doodles") When he got back home, he told me all about how Porter had found, and subsequently ate a dead bird. Since it was already dark out, Adam had no idea what he was in for when he tried to fish out of Porter's mouth whatever it was that Porter was eating. Even though he realized there were feathers dangling from Porter's mouth, he furthered tried to retrieve the dead bird from his jaws, because "he had already touched it at that point". EWWWWW! He finally gave up and Porter gulped it down.

But wait, it gets grosser than that.

Later, at Bucky & Michelle's house, Porter started to make pre-vomiting noises, and if any of you have pets, you know exactly what that sound is. Unfortunately, I had forgotten all about the dead-bird incident, so after Porter vomited, and I very foolishly looked over to see how bad it was, I saw a lump of brownish-black muck. Yes, Porter had vomited up his dead bird.

Michelle went running out of the room, I wasn't about to help Honey clean up that mess, and I think even Bucky had to leave the room, too. Now, I'm not overly squeamish, but I cannot deal with a dead bird and then the dead bird's return.

This morning, after I had forgotten all about the disgusting incident, Adam brought it up out of the blue. He shook his head in dismay and said ~ I can't believe you all are about to have children. Like he's not. Bucky & Michelle, by the way are due November 26th. I had to remind Honey that there is a difference between poopy diapers & baby spit-up and dead birds, and cleaning up dead bird vomit is where I draw the line.

I told you Porter would eat anything.

two totally random shots

One day ages ago, when Porter still drank from his puppy water bowl & not from the toilet where he leaves drippings on the toilet seat for me to sit on when I go pee for the hundredth time that day (and before I painted all of our trim white), I noticed something floating in Porter's water dish and HORROR! It appeared as though we had not only developed a mouse problem, but we had a mouse suicide on our hands. But wait! It was just one of Riley-cat or Mendy's toys, and it went from THE WORST THING EVER to being really quite funny. And you know I had to take a picture of it.

This photo of Honey & I at our friend Brady & Colleen's wedding last June is here for purely vain purposes.

I'm feeling pale & frumpy & hate hate hate my current haircut, and don't we look cute & happy in this photo? So relaxed.

I am definitely growing my hair back out.

doodles will eat anything

So in the spirit of getting back to blogging, which really is quite therapeutic for me, I'm going to try to post a little something everyday ~ even if it's just a photo. Or at the very least, I will try not post once a month :) My apologies in advance for those of you who don't think Doodles is as adorable as I do. Honey says it's the ears, but I think it's all in the eyes.

We have learned that Doodles will eat just about anything. Once he was begging for my mexican food, so I gave him a taste of salsa. He didn't care for it, but it also didn't teach him to not beg. Earlier in my pregnancy, I was having lemon cravings; couldn't get enough of lemons. One night, I even spent a ridiculous amount of money on fresh lemons to make lemonade. Lemonade that I had to hand-squeeze because I don't own a juicer but I HAD to have fresh squeezed lemonade. FYI, Doodles doesn't care for lemons, but man, was the look on his face priceless!

He does love fruit, though. Apples, which you can see him eating here, nectarines, peaches, satsuma oranges. We never ever feed him from the dinner table because that will only make the begging worse. It's bad enough that he rests his cute little head on the table & watches as we eat, his eyebrows raised & his sad eyes moving back & forth between Honey & I.

I gave him a Sweetart from leftover Halloween candy, and he loved that. Oh, and he used to eat his own poo when he was a puppy, but thank goodness he outgrew that. And he used to eat "almond roca" from the kitty litter, also when he was a tiny puppy. Magically, after we had him neutered, the poo-eating behavior stopped. Has anyone else experienced that?

Since I started my new job, the only thing I really miss about my old job is that I can't take Doodles to work with me. There is a dog in the office next door and he sometimes wanders in, which makes me happy but also makes me miss Doodles a little more. Instead, he gets to have fun at my mom & Mike's, aka Doggie Day Care, where he gets to play all day with their dog Sadie & my brother's dog Kona, who also goes to Doggie Day Care. I'm sure Doodles would be just fine if we left him home during the day, but he'd be bored out of his mind. As long as he behaves himself at my mom's & learns to not jump & down on their couch (I don't know where this behavior comes from!), I hope mom & Mike will continue to let him come over to play.

still here

Hello, my dear internet friends. Honey googled me one day & finally found my blog. He reminded me that I haven't written since the 4th of October. He also said good job for not trashing him on the internet, and that in the future when I'm pissed at him, I should read my blog since I portray him in such good light. Indeed, Honey has been a prince during these last 2 months of hormone hell. At any rate, not only have I not written for at least a month, but I haven't even been reading about what all you fabulous people have been up to. I'm sure you've been creating your hearts out, have been preparing for the holiday season, and have dressed your kids up as various animals and cartoon characters. I'm sure one day soon, once I've closed a few loops (that was for Jerusalem's benefit), I'll sit & read for hours & smile at your lovely lives.

Anyway, catching up starting backwards, today we had our first snowfall of the sesaon. Normally, the first snowfall is mixed rain & snow, and lasts a very short while. But today it snowed all day, accumulating about 4 inches at our house. Doodles was pleased.

I also got my first issue of Victoria ~ horray! Well, not my first issue, of course, but you know what I mean. AND, Honey got his drivers license today! Yes, my 26 year old husband finally is licensed to drive. After moving here from California in 1999, he lived downtown & worked downtown. We have the same work schedule, so when we bought our house in the "valley", we drove into town together. And even though we don't talk much during our 15-20 minute commute (ha!), other than the occasional commentary on an NPR news tidbit, I really love that we have that time together. Anyway, Honey still maintains he does not want his license & that he only got it because I got pregnant & he had to. I don't care ~ he got his license, and you have no idea how big of a milestone this is in our lives. There are countless people who have hounded him on my behalf for years, and even though he says he's not happy he got his license, he was thinking of who he should call to tell. How cute is that?!

Weekend before last, I went to Seattle for a few days to see my girl Tanya. I was in such a bad state of mind that she & my sweet mama bought me a plane ticket to get the hell out of here & escape my life for a few days. Tanya & I stayed in a fancy hotel downtown, I got my haircut which I unforunately hate, I bought maternity clothes courtesy of my Aunt Georgia, ate orange beef at my most favorite Seattle restaurant, Shanghai Garden, had a really nice visit with Aunt Georgia, my cousin Tony, his wife Lisa & their precious little baby Lucas, and went to a spa. If you find yourself in Seattle, I highly recommend a day at Ummelina's. The smells alone are worth it. Mmmm, lavender....

We got manicures & massages, and while we waited for our treatments, we got a foot soak. The manicure was like a massage in itself. I was lying down, & before actually doing my nails, she massaged my arms & hands. I slipped into a relaxed state of being that rarely happens. Even my massage, as lovely as it was, wasn't as relaxing as my manicure.

I'm now at about 13 weeks, 14 weeks if you go by my date of conception & not by the ultrasound measurements. This photo is at 11 (12) weeks. I've been taking self-portraits, so I'm a little twisted. My belly has grown considerably, especially after a big dinner. It actually looks small to me in this photo. I still fight the urge to suck it in, but mostly I'm like, why bother? I had been squishing myself into jeans that I could barely squish myself into, fastening them closed with a rubberband. Honey would say to me, ummm, your zipper's down. I would respond with MY ZIPPER DOESN'T GO UP ANY FARTHER! It felt really comfortable to finally have some maternity jeans & let it all hang out.

More importantly, my hormones have finally leveled out. And can I just say, THANK GOD. The past two months I've been in the worst kind of hell. I was so completely miserable and I honestly didn't think I would survive my pregnancy. I have decided that if I'm on anti-anxiety/depression meds again, and if we ever get pregnant again, I cannot go off them until the 2nd trimester. I am not equipped to handle the hormonal changes, and it's not fair to Honey to put him through that again, either. The weird thing is, even though this was all in the very recent past, it's hard to remember just how badly I felt. And there really aren't words, anyway. I'm thankful now that I can start to enjoy my pregnancy, whereas as recently as 3 weeks ago, it was merely something that was destroying my life & my sanity. At the time, the only positive I could think of was that I had cleavage for the first time in my life. It pained me that I was so unhappy about what was supposed to be the most beautiful thing I'd ever experience. And even worse, there was a teensy part of me that didn't want to be pregnant & knowing that if I did miscarry, I'd never have the strength to do this again. Intellectually, I knew I was incredibly lucky to be pregnant, especially when there are so many women who are desperate for a child & can't conceive. I would see a husband & wife with a baby & I'd know I wanted that, & that's what got me through the craziness. That and my amazing husband, family & friends. Now, I know I'll be okay.

My other huge news is that I finally quit my job! I had interviewed with, and subsequently received a job offer from a CPA firm & started work November 1st. While my anxiety hasn't completely subsided, it's really nice to go to work & know that I will be treated with respect. My previous boss was so demotivating that my work had begun to suffer for it, which wasn't fair to myself or to my boss. I don't believe I performed badly on purpose; I still did good work, just not great work & I was certainly not working to my full potential. I had long since given up trying to make any changes for the better. It was a big job for one person, and truthfully, a lot for me to keep track of & to keep on top of everything all the time. It didn't help that my boss would want to change things around, requiring me to re-do 9 months of inventory adjustments. With that kind of mentality, I know I should have quit a long time ago, but fear of working somewhere even worse (and the fact that I was well-paid) kept me there for far too long. But, I'm gone now & I can't help but wonder what the hell took me so long.

Well, we did indeed have a bear in our neighborhood....can you see her? I didn't crop or zoom because I wanted you to see just how close this little cutie was. I was across the street, and the bear was at the end of the very short cul-de-sac. All in all, pretty damn close. This time of year they lurk around neighborhoods in search of food, and have even been known to come inside of apartment buildings & homes. Bet you're not used to hearing that on your morning news!

Lastly, I leave you with some photos of beautiful Juneau & the Mendenhall Glacier. This, this beauty is the reason why I continue to live here, where we get 180 inches of rain a year.

Doodles gets so freakin' happy when we take him to the Glacier, he can hardly contain himself. I swear, as he's running around the lake & through the shrubbery, he gets a look on his face that can only say ~ They really do love me! Oddly, that dog will avoid a muddle **edited ** MUD PUDDLE! like the plague, but give him a glacial lake, and he's all over it.